You'll never be enough until you are enough

Confusing right? You'll never be enough until you are enough? You are probably wondering what the heck I am talking about, but I'll surely explain.

You see, in my last blog I talked about finding my "purpose" in life. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do since losing my job and I have felt this sense of emptiness since. I have battled back and forth about ALL the things I could do but trying to make some sort of decision on what I want to do is impossible, like Kim Possible can't even figure this crap out.

I think I spend more time on indeed.com then Tik Tok these days, which is cray because I could spend hours watching people pour laundry detergent into fancy containers and organizing their potato chips. Anyway, I have been searching and searching for a career that I would "like", wracking my brain to try and figure out what I would be good at.

***here comes the toot my own horn train, TOOT TOOOOOOOOOT***

The problem is, I have so many things that I am good at, a blessing and a curse. I love working in healthcare (but ya'll know how that goes now), I love working with kids (school system????), I love writing (morning sentinel here I come), I have a minor in psychology (so many doors there)..... THE POSSIBILITES ARE FRICKIN ENDLESS. The hard part though, trying to make a decision. Trying to figure out which career "defines" me as an individual.

!! HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE, KIM POSSIBLE SOLVED THE IMPOSSIBLE !!

It's honestly like something clicked in my brain one day, this sense of relief just came over me. I finally, somehow, perhaps by the grace of God, realized I didn't need a career to cure my sense of emptiness.

So what did I do? I texted my mama because, mama ALWAYS knows best ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

This is word for word, what I texted her:

I think I figured it out... I don't have to let a career define who I am. I think I am so stuck on that it's tearing me apart. However, when I think about where I'm at right now, I am thankful. I have the ability to utilize all my talents right now, photography, writing, helping people, all of it. I don't have to get compensated for it because then it takes the love out of it. The moment you take something you love and turn it into a job you begin to stray away from the love. So with that being said I'm happily going to be, take this season by day and see what God puts in front of me.

After putting that into writing, I felt relief. Like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. If you know me well enough, you know that I am always focused on where I am going, not so much where I am at. It's a huge downfall. I always say "live in the moment" but that's single handedly, the hardest thing for me to do. A lot of what I write comes from within my own heart, matters and words of wisdom that I need to hear for MYSELF. Now, if I can help somebody else along the way? Win frickin win.

I know I am not alone in this sense of "definition", feeling as though we need to have some successful career that "defines" who we are. I mean do we really need to accumulate thousands of dollars in debt, earn a degree, then another degree, work 40+ hours a week, miss out on holidays, weekends, time with family.... just to "define" us? NO!!!!

***This is in NO sense bashing ANYONE that has a degree, works hard, has student debt, is currently going to school etc. A lot of people do have a career that they are so extremely passionate about, which is their calling. That is their destiny, which is wonderful!! Trust me, sometimes I wish I had that "one thing" I could say that I am***

"I am a nurse"

"I am a surgeon"

"I am a real estate agent"

"I am an electrician"

"I am a teacher"

"I am a sales rep"

"I am a loan officer"

"I am a daycare provider"

"I am a housekeeper"

"I am a merchant marine"

"I am a business owner"

The one thing that I am????? Is tori.

" I am Tori"

I am learning that that is all I will ever be. The ONLY thing that will be a constant in my life, is myself. At the end of the day, the only person you have is yourself. It's not selfish either, its the truth (something that is so far fetched these days). Sometimes, we have to recognize that the truest versions of ourselves are not defined by what we do. Though it's easy to just say "I am a*insert career here*" you are actually SO much more than that.

You were wonderfully and fearfully made. Made to live a life full of love, made to grow, made to learn, made to face challenges and overcome them. There is no dictionary definition as to who you are, but a career? That's easy to type in a search engine. It is time to start knowing that we are enough, just being the exact person we are right now, reading this post.

You'll never be enough until you are enough...

And you? Yeah, you. You are more than enough ♡♡♡♡♡♡

Promise.